The long, frustrating & unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 2.

Fri 161009

Yup, after a much needed break & breaths of fresh air, it's time to continue relating with this unbelievable disrespectful person with no regret, remorse nor realisation of all his wrong-doings. From now on, it would be easier & save me some typing if that person is referred to that "S". Sounds like something we all know, right? Ha ha!

Let's travel back to his pre-marriage days.

That "S", when advised to go slow in his personal relationship, he retorted in the presence of my other half (who can bear witness) that he would not need any help whatsoever from me when the time comes for him to get married!

However, when that time came, it was the total reverse! Just imagine...

1. For his "bridal suite" in Lot 10, he told my other half to just use a piece of cloth to cover the old worn & dirty headboard of his old bed to be used as their wedding bed! Now, could any father who had love for his son, in spite of that "S"'s past behaviour & no matter what that "S" had said to him before, stand by & allow that to happen? What would that "S"'s bride-to-be think of his family & esp of her husband-to-be? A husband who is a "banker" (or so he called himself) but could not even afford a proper new bed for his wife?

And so it was, that this father dug into his overdraft account again & re-furnished another room (after repainting it) with a brand new furniture set for that "S" & his bride to use as their "bridal suite".

2. I organised the wedding dinner here. The irony of it all was after that that "S" came to see both of his parents and asked for ALL the angpows given by our relatives & friends whom we had invited & had entertained! The nerve of that "S"...knowing fully well that ALL expenses incurred for all wedding expenses here was borne by his parents, using funds not readily available but from our overdraft secured from the mortgage of our home!

Now, did we hear wrongly or did he tell us that he would not need any of our help, etc., etc., etc.?

Then came his move to a rented flat when both of them got transferred to Penang. He could not afford to pay the full monthly rental for the flat. It was then that I suggested to my daughter who, at that time, was renting a room by herself in another area, to instead rent a room from her own brother. And by so doing, she would be helping her bro to afford to rent the flat for his family. Now I wonder if he could still remember that arrangement? Or maybe he (& wife) had thought they were the ones doing my daughter (his sister) a favour? And maybe still does?

More importantly, I personally bought new furniture & most items necessary eg double bed with mattress, dressing table, cooking cabinet c/w stove, gas, automatic washing machine, etc in order that he could start his life in a complete environment. Another issue of thousands of $$$, from a father who did not have the available funds but who did so anyway...

And... after that "S"'s son was born through a difficult & almost "dry" delivery, I can now still remember a couple of his friends telling him in the corridor of the hospital that he "is a father now and would know what his parents felt & went through when they had and took care of him... " Now one wonders if his memory is now impaired, even at his younger-than-me age?

Furthermore, his son then needed to stay back & be treated longer in the hospital even though the mother could be discharged. And guess who came to his rescue? His wife? His InLaws? Nope. Guess again. Yup, You got it! Correct...morally, emotionally and financially!!

On the emotional side, that "S" had, from time to time, threatened to take his own life! 1 way which I could remember that he had wanted to do...was by jumping off the Penang Bridge!! We spent many phone calls, listening to his woes, problems, etc, etc. Consoling, encouraging & supporting him. Did all we knew how.

Well, what can I say? Looked like we were successful, right? Or else that "S" won't be alive today, right? And I would not be suffering all these 19+ months, from his disrespect in March 2008....

What could be worse?

According to that "S", every day...every second, he was on his toes! He told that to both my other half & me during one of those "comforting" cum "moral-uplifting" sessions that we had with him each time before we left for home after visiting him & family. Yup, his confessions were then free-flowing...from his aching tortured heart.
(NB. Sincerely hope you guys know what is meant by being "on one's toes"... )

And yup, he poured out his heart & home problems to both of us very often many times after we had visited him & family. At times it took up so much time until even his wife had to call him up on his H/P to ask why he was taking so long & not back up to the flat yet...!

Now, are all those mentioned above the normal duties & responsibilities of a parent at those points in a child's life? When he's already an adult, working, before marriage, after marriage, even when he's a father with his own child?

You tell me...

Part 3?...soon. Pls be patient. TQ.

UPDATE : @ 10:42pm.
It now appears that Part 3 would have to be somewhat delayed. KL & family would be visiting Lot 10 tomorrow ie Sat 171009. After that, lil ole me would need the same ole "recovery" period...hehe...sincere apologies for the delay. TQ in adv.