The long frustrating and unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 4.

Thur 221009

Here we are...yup, the Final Part. Part 4.

Finally...the long road down "Memory Lane" is about to end...

Let's go back to the past once more.

1. During what became the last visit all of us (as a family) made to Computer Fairs eg Microfest, PC Fair, etc., that "S" kinda "let out" that he had been the recipient of items that this father did not want anymore....

Phew! What ungratefulness! Especially when one could not afford to buy them for oneself? And this father could afford to pass them over to him? Why didn't he say so when he was offered those items? Then those items would have been given to some other ppl who would have appreciated the gesture. Don't you all agree?

I remembered the time when my own father passed over his old rusty bicycle to me, I was so overjoyed! That "S" got a new BMX from this father...

And yup, as above, not all that he got were what he termed as "unwanted" items! Pray do let me clarify further...

There was this time when me had planned to get a new desktop PC to replace an old one which was still functioning. When we heard that that "S" needed a better PC so that he could pursue his hobby, improve his IT capability & help him with his work, my other half & me decided to instead use the $$$ to enable him to buy one new one...according to his own specs! To make it not sound like we are like so helping him, we told him that me didn't need such an up2date PC and that his old one (which was better than my old one) would suffice. An exchange of sorts.

Now was that an "unwanted" item?

Instead of going into details, were all those brand new HPs that me bought for him also "unwanted" items? And many many more...too many to list here & for fear of boring you guys...

2. Then there was the time when he had sold off his own car but needed a new car. Deciding to buy a new Kancil but didn't have even the minimum downpayment needed, he approached this ole guy, "the father who had made his life miserable". (NB. Fyi this ole guy was still surviving on the OD facility that he had from mortgaging his home!)
This ole man did so without any hesitation. The understanding was that he would repay the loan in monthly instalments of some affordable sum.

He bought the car. But the car was given to his wife to use while he used the wife's old kancil. Fair enough...he loved his wife. However, where were the repayments of the loan? Nothing was seen for 3 months and then that "S" said he would do so when he could later. It was a long wait before me got part repayment and that was after his that one loan was increased by his other espenses I had to bear for him. Now, didn't he have a wife who had invested in shares?

Frankly, up till March 2008 (& even now), his financial debts to this ole man were still pending...my other half had told me to "write off" all of them long time back! I did so then...even to the extent of throwing away all records of the sums that he had owed me!

3. Before that "S" was promoted & confirmed in his present Manager's post, he was supervising the northern region branches and he had to make periodical trips to A/S. Did he make any effort to drop in to see his own parents? Esp when Lot 10 is just on the way for anyone going back to Penang via the highway?

Nope. It was a big NO practically most of the time or dare I say 99%? Perhaps even 99.9%? Then how did we know the times that he came to A/S? That's why me believe that God works in mysterious ways...hehe....

When asked once, his answer was that his wife was waiting for him to go back to have dinner! Oh no...our "S" was here on official duties but he could not even stopover at his parents' home (his former own home, too!) because his wife was waiting for him to have dinner...now that's a great "S" for you!! It would be a fair understandable answer if he had been visiting his parents BUT the number of his visits had dropped to only a max of 2 per year for some years already!

May I add here that he visited his In-Laws practically almost every weekend...? It's only about 1 and half hour's drive (within JPJ's speed limits) under normal traffic conditions from his flat to Lot 10.

I remember very cleary & well that I had advised both my children (before their marriage) that after they got married, they must show their other half the love that they had for their parents....so that it would rub off on the other half...thereby creating an understanding of their actions towards their parents. To be fair, me had also added that they must also be as understanding when it came to the other half's parents, their In-laws.

4. A few years back, our daughter had found work in SP. That "S" had previously bought a house there which he had been unable to even rent out for quite some time already then. I suggested that she, being that "S"'s sister, could help her bro by renting the place instead of renting another place. She did.

There were also months when me had to chip in to help that "S" to pay the instalments to the house. Now did he realise all that? Or was he thinking that it was only he who was helping the sister? YOU tell me...

5. Last but not least, during each & every visit that me & my other half made to that "S"'s family (before they were married, after they were married, & after they had their son), we bore all expenses and even expenses out of the ordinary in order that that "S" would one day be able to stand on his own 2 feet! We were supposedly "guests" then...but in reality, we were the "hosts"!!

There was even that one time, at the car park...during one of our heart2heart chats...when my other half did ask that "S" if he knew what his father had been doing...and she told him the above, namely his father was helping him as much as possible so that one day he could stand on his own 2 feet!

And what did he do when he could finally stand on his own 2 feet? Literally forgot everthing and figuratively "shot" his own father down...coldly! In March 2008. No remorse...No regrets...No guilt...No nothing...

So now after reading & learning about many of the incidents that had transpired and the "beyond the call of duty" actions of this ole man, does this ole man deserve the threats & accusations that that "S" had hurled at him on that fateful day in March 2008?

I leave that to you to be the judge. Pls judge wisely. Not as only a son yourself but as a father, too. I was hurt...deeply hurt. Still am. Because of an unrepenting, proud & arrogant "S", with that something missing from his heart.

May God let him see his wrongs and show him the right path...soon. Amen.