The recent past...

Wed 281009

Hi...

With not much happening these days, here is a number of going-on's in Lot 10 which probably were left out inadvertently...sincere apologies...

1. After the leakage from our indoor pump that caused the massive internal "flooding" of Lot 10 recently (170909), it was noticed early in the 3rd week of October that water was dripping continuously from the drainage pipe at the outer end of the front wall of our porch!

Nothing was made out of it for the past weeks cos it had been raining on & off practically daily and thus the water from the drainage pipe was attributed to normal drainage of trapped rain water.

However, after a couple of dry days, the dripping was still there! And there was a patch of water around the base of the wall pillar. On closer inspection, it was found that water was seeping continuously out from underneath...even after drying out the area! Oh no! That, in all probability, meant only 1 thing...the main pipe underground was leaking...

Luckily our fav plumber friend was available & he came the next day (if not wrong, on 151009) to fix it. And he did! Thanks a meg, Mr Y!!

Here's a pic of the re-routed main inlet pipe now...

Some finishing touches are still pending...unimportant ones, though.

Most importantly, there is no further loss of water! And it was not the long stretch of pipe underground leading to the house proper. Thank goodness...yup, it was practically a "life-saver" in terms of $$ and worry...

2. With the addition of the new Samsung 22in LCD TV in our master bedroom, our plan...to rotate the location of the available TV sets in Lot 10 for better & more beneficial usage of the sets...could thus be carried out.

The JVC 21in CRT TV in our room was moved to our daughter's room for better viewing by our fav grandaughter, KL, who had been restricted to a very old Sony 14in set all these years.


Here is its new home now...pic on left. Looking comfy there & blending into its surroundings, right?

The TV cabinet was moved from its original position in our lounge area where it was previously used for our home projector.

ATM me had to improvise a new cabinet from our partly-damaged utility shelves unit for use temporarily to accomodate the projector in the lounge area /hall. We looked for one of the same quality in AS Mall yesterday but found none. The search continues...

3. It was learnt recently that a number of thefts of brass water meters had occurred in nearby housing areas. Consequently, it was felt that a little investment might be worthwhile at this point in time. Yup, to save the hassle of either paying ourselves for a replacement meter or having to make a police report before applying to JKA for a free replacement.

We'd found a special clamping device for such protection available in AS Mall but it was priced at more than RM15 each, being a anti-rust plated version! However, a similar, although lower quality version, was found available at our nearby hardware shop for only RM5!! A painted one.


We went for the painted version...ha ha! Here it is, installed at our meter point...the turquoise-painted clamping device...

Not that bad, huh? If it could save us the unnecessary hassle & some $$$, don't you agree that it's good enough?

Somehow, me couldn't help always feeling that if anyone wanted to steal anything, they would...no matter what precautions one could or would take. Agreed?

Whatever we do is purely a simple form of deterrent...it might not be good enough for the determined /desperate thief! Or if one's residence had been marked as the target! And so, we shall keep our fingers tightly crossed...

Well, that's about it for now.

Another weekend is coming up soon...

New "Toilet" in Lot 10...

Sun 251009

Yup, another wish came true today! And yup, it's the 2nd item on our wish list...a new LCD TV!!

And before we attempted to get it, we made a pact...my other half & me. A simple pact. Namely, if the steps to acquiring this new item did not go smoothly, we would abandon it! No more of that lousy full-of-obstacles thingy whenever we embarked on any new acquisition...

And yup, it was smooth all the way! Phew...maybe the jinx in the Tan Family is gone? Hopefully for good...

And after surveying what were available for the range of 22in. LCD TVs eg brands like Pensonic & Haier, we finally decided on a Samsung 22in. on offer at Senheng/SenQ. Price was good (only RM899) and so were the terms...with 0% interest for a term of 12 months!

Yup, everything, including a service charge of RM25, only added up to RM77 per month. Affordable...in my present financial situation. And yup, a poor man's way of getting anything new.

Installation was a breeze and we have been enjoying it since we brought it home!

Just to share...
a pic of the Samsung 22" LCD TV...

This LCD TV comes with pretty good specs, considering that it is only a Series 3 Samsung (Its latest models are known as Series 8 now!)...especially its dynamic contrast ratio of 30,000:1 !! If me not mistaken, Series 3 LCD TVs by Samsung normally has only a ratio of 8,000:1.

Furthermore, it has all the common input terminals (albeit only 1 of each) such as HDMI, Component, AV video & audio, PC, headphone, co-axial Antenna jack and even provision for a Kensington Lock! Good enough, right? For a 22in TV to be used in a bedroom.

The inbuilt front control panel utilises truly "touch-sensitive" icons...not real buttons like for most other makes. A mere touch activates & operates the On/Standby, Volume, Prg & other functions. Truly hi-tech...

Maybe me should assume this new "toilet" to be a belated Bday present for muah? Ha ha!

Ok...me gotta go now...

Time for din-din!

Hv a great week ahead...me got new "toilet" to take care of now...Bye!

Today's happenings...

Fri 231009

Yup, another week is ending...another weekend will be starting tomorrow!

So what's new in the life of this sedentary ole man? Yup, you guessed it! Nothing much to be high nor excited about...

However, it was not a day of totally nothing though. Kinda eventful...to me...if I may say so.

For a start, it was time to replenish my "drugs" for the coming month. Yup, me am an "unofficial" drug addict for life! But nope, not of the illegal kind! And yup, it's all legal & necessary! Yup again...me needed to get my monthly supply of multivit and med for both my God-knows-from-when hypertension & presently mild diabetic condition. Those med are my life-support systems...keeping me still around in this world! To enjoy the "bonus" days that God has bequeathed me.

That done, both me & my other half went to "rob" our nearby Petronas. Resources were running low and it's gonna be almost another month before Kay Pa would be giving us our next pocket allowance. Yup, the next instalment will only be on 20th November. The previous was on 6th Oct. Long way to go, right?

Next, it was back to Lot 10 for a short break. Yup...too early for lunch!

Then it was time to be out again. This time it was to AS Mall. Yup, nothing new, right? Sorry...but where else can one go in A/S? Kinda limited for choices. True?

However, AS Mall was just opposite 1 of our fav food courts where Pan Mee is sold. We've tried a couple of times to take it before today, but there was no sign of the stall! One more try today...

But before that....

Yup, I needed to get spare bulbs for our "floodlights"...now 2 units in operation ie 1 unit operated by the autogate and the latest operated from our master bedroom. To my surprise, only 3 units were available @RM8 each. Since 1 unit had been torn open & thus no guarantee that the halogen lamp glass had not been touched by any inquisitive fingers. Hope you also know the don't of handling halogen lamps? That left me with the only 2 left that I could confidently & safely buy...

Another item me needed to enhance the use of the floodlight control in our room was a 3-gang socket set. There it is now...installed! Pls see pic on left. Just below our central window.

As for our Pan Mee, today was a different story! Yup, we finally got to enjoy our bowls of Pan Mee...with less mee but more "money" vege! Ha ha!

Since we parked our car in the basement FOC car park (out of the sun & in cool comfort, too), we went back into AS Mall. There we found a mattress promotion being held in the main lobby. And yup, we had been in the market for a replacement mattress or a set of new mattress c/w divan & headboard. A choice we would have to make. The latest offer of a branded new model was on exhibition. Enquiries were made. Encouraging answers. Let's wait & see if there will be a happy conclusion...hehe....

Back in Lot 10, with nothing better to do while my other half watched her "Love" serial, me tried to follow the Budget 2010 speech by our present PM. Nothing to shout about though. Sorry...nothing was for pensioners! Guess our last PM was still the best in terms of thoughts of the welfare of old ppl. Maybe when this present PM gets to be older? Ha ha!

Boring huh? Ok...ok...time to call it a day...and a week, too!

Have a great weekend!

UPDATE on 241009 @9:25am :

Mattress/Bedset purchase was abandoned. Reason? Simple. Promoter boss could not be trusted. BS both of us. Told us that she had available stock & would deliver on next day but on confirmation of purchase, we were told that we had to wait for her to order! Sorry...no biznes from muah...bye!

The Main Issues of March 2008.

Thur 221009

Hi...

For reference, now & in the future, below is a copy of the 3 Main Issues that arose on that fateful day in March 2008, a copy of which had been sent to that "S" via courier days before my Bday recently. This paper was prepared in anticipation of that "S"'s possible & hoped for return to Lot 10 but which never materialised... even after more than 19 months...

THE MAIN ISSUES

How you had disrespected your own father…the 3 MAIN points…

1. Both my children had been told that Lot 10 would be their home & that they could come back anytime AS LONG AS they feel that it is THEIR HOME & that we are THEIR PARENTS!
Moreover, there is a very simple rule or guideline as you may call it, namely :
Come Happy, Stay Happy & Leave Happy…

Now if you were to recollect correctly, that was what your father was reminding you of when you blew your top and threatened him by saying that :
“if you say another word, I’m leaving immediately!” Correct?

Now, what right have you to do that when you were the one who had broken that simple rule of visiting Lot 10 (a very rare visit, I might add…) and so threaten your very own father in his own home?

Your father is still of sound mind & physical capability. Now, if you can do that when he is so, what is going to be the scenario when he is not so? YOU tell him…

2. Your response to your father that HE owes you MORE…

Now, how in the world can a father owe a son more? Esp when this father had a long list of how he had taken care of his son, supported him morally, emotionally & financially throughout this son’s life? Even through his marriage & even after he had a son? Your father will list out (search your memory & if need be, your father will help you remember…) ALL that he had done…way out of his way…so much more than many other fathers would ever do!

So, please help your father to understand HOW your father could ever OWE YOU MORE…

3. You pointed your finger so angrily at your father even before you left soon after…while saying, “Remember, you are the one who started it…”

Now, you had continued to insist (even at a later time) that your father started the whole incident…and even that if it was related to the phone calls you’d made to him at the chicken rice shop, you were even more sure that your father was the one who started it!

Now, on your father’s side, there’s no one to bear witness to what had happened during the 2 calls you made. I told your mother & your sister about the calls and with the 2 of them & God, as my 3rd witness, I remember trying to stop you from leaving before we could reach home…without seeing us! I even asked you how far Jln Telok Wanjah is from Lot 10 and reminded you how much time only is needed to reach Lot 10…remember?

By so doing, am I the one who started the incident?

Frankly, when you told your father you’d have to take your family for lunch first, did you even think of asking if your parents had lunch yet? Or did you expect them to skip lunch while you & your family had lunch?

So how could you be so angry at your father when he had to stop to buy lunch for your mother & sister’s family who were also visitors to Lot 10? Remember how impatient you were? And how you said you were going to leave even without seeing us at all but only come at another future date? When would that be…when you hardly ever come to visit your parents?

When a son, who hardly ever comes to visit his parents, finally could visit and was trying to leave without even seeing his parents in spite of the father trying to stop him from doing so…
Now, was that son adhering to the pre-mentioned guideline of coming home happy to Lot 10?
And, if the father’s attempt, to remind him of his wrong in that line of action, gave that son the right to tell his own father to literally “SHUT UP” in his own home, then that person is NO longer the son we knew nor had…

As such, this incident is no simple matter…no simple quarrel…no simple misunderstanding…it is a major DISRESPECT issue of a son to his own father in the father’s own home!

NB. This is only a summarized version of the details of this HUGE issue.

The long frustrating and unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 4.

Thur 221009

Here we are...yup, the Final Part. Part 4.

Finally...the long road down "Memory Lane" is about to end...

Let's go back to the past once more.

1. During what became the last visit all of us (as a family) made to Computer Fairs eg Microfest, PC Fair, etc., that "S" kinda "let out" that he had been the recipient of items that this father did not want anymore....

Phew! What ungratefulness! Especially when one could not afford to buy them for oneself? And this father could afford to pass them over to him? Why didn't he say so when he was offered those items? Then those items would have been given to some other ppl who would have appreciated the gesture. Don't you all agree?

I remembered the time when my own father passed over his old rusty bicycle to me, I was so overjoyed! That "S" got a new BMX from this father...

And yup, as above, not all that he got were what he termed as "unwanted" items! Pray do let me clarify further...

There was this time when me had planned to get a new desktop PC to replace an old one which was still functioning. When we heard that that "S" needed a better PC so that he could pursue his hobby, improve his IT capability & help him with his work, my other half & me decided to instead use the $$$ to enable him to buy one new one...according to his own specs! To make it not sound like we are like so helping him, we told him that me didn't need such an up2date PC and that his old one (which was better than my old one) would suffice. An exchange of sorts.

Now was that an "unwanted" item?

Instead of going into details, were all those brand new HPs that me bought for him also "unwanted" items? And many many more...too many to list here & for fear of boring you guys...

2. Then there was the time when he had sold off his own car but needed a new car. Deciding to buy a new Kancil but didn't have even the minimum downpayment needed, he approached this ole guy, "the father who had made his life miserable". (NB. Fyi this ole guy was still surviving on the OD facility that he had from mortgaging his home!)
This ole man did so without any hesitation. The understanding was that he would repay the loan in monthly instalments of some affordable sum.

He bought the car. But the car was given to his wife to use while he used the wife's old kancil. Fair enough...he loved his wife. However, where were the repayments of the loan? Nothing was seen for 3 months and then that "S" said he would do so when he could later. It was a long wait before me got part repayment and that was after his that one loan was increased by his other espenses I had to bear for him. Now, didn't he have a wife who had invested in shares?

Frankly, up till March 2008 (& even now), his financial debts to this ole man were still pending...my other half had told me to "write off" all of them long time back! I did so then...even to the extent of throwing away all records of the sums that he had owed me!

3. Before that "S" was promoted & confirmed in his present Manager's post, he was supervising the northern region branches and he had to make periodical trips to A/S. Did he make any effort to drop in to see his own parents? Esp when Lot 10 is just on the way for anyone going back to Penang via the highway?

Nope. It was a big NO practically most of the time or dare I say 99%? Perhaps even 99.9%? Then how did we know the times that he came to A/S? That's why me believe that God works in mysterious ways...hehe....

When asked once, his answer was that his wife was waiting for him to go back to have dinner! Oh no...our "S" was here on official duties but he could not even stopover at his parents' home (his former own home, too!) because his wife was waiting for him to have dinner...now that's a great "S" for you!! It would be a fair understandable answer if he had been visiting his parents BUT the number of his visits had dropped to only a max of 2 per year for some years already!

May I add here that he visited his In-Laws practically almost every weekend...? It's only about 1 and half hour's drive (within JPJ's speed limits) under normal traffic conditions from his flat to Lot 10.

I remember very cleary & well that I had advised both my children (before their marriage) that after they got married, they must show their other half the love that they had for their parents....so that it would rub off on the other half...thereby creating an understanding of their actions towards their parents. To be fair, me had also added that they must also be as understanding when it came to the other half's parents, their In-laws.

4. A few years back, our daughter had found work in SP. That "S" had previously bought a house there which he had been unable to even rent out for quite some time already then. I suggested that she, being that "S"'s sister, could help her bro by renting the place instead of renting another place. She did.

There were also months when me had to chip in to help that "S" to pay the instalments to the house. Now did he realise all that? Or was he thinking that it was only he who was helping the sister? YOU tell me...

5. Last but not least, during each & every visit that me & my other half made to that "S"'s family (before they were married, after they were married, & after they had their son), we bore all expenses and even expenses out of the ordinary in order that that "S" would one day be able to stand on his own 2 feet! We were supposedly "guests" then...but in reality, we were the "hosts"!!

There was even that one time, at the car park...during one of our heart2heart chats...when my other half did ask that "S" if he knew what his father had been doing...and she told him the above, namely his father was helping him as much as possible so that one day he could stand on his own 2 feet!

And what did he do when he could finally stand on his own 2 feet? Literally forgot everthing and figuratively "shot" his own father down...coldly! In March 2008. No remorse...No regrets...No guilt...No nothing...

So now after reading & learning about many of the incidents that had transpired and the "beyond the call of duty" actions of this ole man, does this ole man deserve the threats & accusations that that "S" had hurled at him on that fateful day in March 2008?

I leave that to you to be the judge. Pls judge wisely. Not as only a son yourself but as a father, too. I was hurt...deeply hurt. Still am. Because of an unrepenting, proud & arrogant "S", with that something missing from his heart.

May God let him see his wrongs and show him the right path...soon. Amen.

The long frustrating and unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 3b.

Wed 211009

Hi...

My sincere apologies for the long wait for this part ie Part 3b. So it's better if me wrote something now than be branded a "procrastinator" longer than necessary, right?

Part 3 is dedicated to incidents that had taken place that carried special meanings to both me & my other half in relation to the care of our grandson, J, namely how we had helped him overcome the traumatic circumstances & events that had confronted him... that he had to face in his pre-school days.

Incident #3 :

This involved 3 of our Marriage Anniversaries. Yup, that of me & my other half. I wonder if you are one who may believe in co-incidences. Early in his life, our grandson fell sick, consecutively, on the eves of 2 of our wedding anniversaries!

Well, each time we responded to the sad news that J was sick. We dropped everything and went over to take care of J till he was well. Our 2 anniversaries were spent at that "S"'s flat. Luckily for us, they did realise...the 2nd time around... that we had to forego any planned or unplanned celebration of any sort at that time. And, where credit is due, credit must be given, right? They did buy home, that 2nd time we had to sacrifice our anniv. celebrations for their son, a cake for both of us...for the anniversary day together that we had to give up to care for J...

That was the good part.

The sad & hurting part was that soon after, when J fell sick again, we were NOT allowed to go to take care of him anymore! To cut a long explanation short, it was said that they would only ask for our help if & when they needed our help to help take care of our grandson! Not this time. And it was to be so for the future.

Phew...I didn't know that grandparents must switch on & off their feelings & emotions towards the well-being of their 1st grandchild according to the whims & fancies of his parents! Do you?

We could only care for & love our grandson only when they allowed us! And it was like a rarity...

That trend of thought & view became worse as time passed by. We could not even visit them at their flat! A common reason given being that they were tired & wanted to sleep...young ppl in their twenties...so tired? Even when the parents (& InLaws to the wife) had come all the way from A/S to Penang? And it's not every day or every week that we do go to visit them...or even to Penang, for that matter. Neither would it be correct to say that they visited us often @Lot 10. Rarely, if ever, was the norm.

Anyway, after quite a number of failed attempts, we both gave up & accepted the fact that we were not welcomed most of the time. To care for our grandson or even to visit them. Period.

Now I wonder if we appeared to be a threat to them...? Probably so, after the incidents me related in Part 3a.

Incident #4 :

This happened after they had a 2nd child. A daughter. This daughter had fallen ill. Now that "S" called us for help...to take care of J. Now if the daughter is sick, why can't they take turns to attend to the daughter? Both wanted to be free to take care of only the daughter! Isn't the son also their child...? Or do they love him that much less?

That was when me felt the strong urge & need to set things right, once & for all. I had enough. No more being manipulated. No more letting them turn on & off my emotions, my feelings...as if I was a puppet! It was my turn to say "NO!"

So I turned down the request...not to respond to their request for help immediately on that day BUT instead, I told that "S" that we would go to Penang in a couple of days to pick up J, bring him to A/S for a day before we all went to Penang to carry out our plans for that year's wedding anniversary do. Our pre-booked hotel stay. J would stay with us. And yup, it was once again just before our next wedding anniversary! Now, wasn't that another co-incidence?

We did as we had promised.

However, J must have felt very ignored, rejected & not loved by both of his parents cos he fell sick on arrival at the hotel we had booked to stay for our anniversary. He vomitted in the car park. We took him to see a nearby doc. Conclusion? Probably food poisoning due to contaminated food in take-away meals cos the parents had no time to prep home food for him whilst caring for the sister. We gave him the doc's med. No more vomitting but he refused to take any food. Day after day.

To cut a long story short again, that first conclusion was proven wrong! I had to extend our hotel stay an extra day even...4D3N in all. Why? Cos our J still would not take any food! Actually, I had then proven to the father, namely that "S", that J could eat already! How did I know?I had insisted that that "S" must come so that J could recover. J ate & drank everything given to him by that "S"!! But the moment that "S" left, J just would NOT eat anything...yup, J was plain attention-seeking...cos he must have felt so unwanted when both parents focussed only on his sister.

My final conclusion? Our J must have suffered from neglect, lack of love & attention during the days his sister was sick...probably even long before...even when he was their only child. And most likely, it was worse after his sister was born...

We could both see how this poor little boy was treated each time we were given a chance to be with him...at meals, at home, in Malls...even on his own birthday! Sad, sad...a very sad, pitiful story.

That brings me to Incident #5:

One day...probably still pre-school if me not wrong, the family came to Lot 10 for a visit. And when we were alone with J, he told us how much he wished he could die...also how nice it would be to be just a mosquito & fly away....

Do you know how shocked both me & my other half were? Well & truly shocked! Now, why is a boy in pre-school having that kind of wish? To die? Children at his age should be happy, carefree, looking forward to happy times, especially so during weekends & times with parents! YOU tell me....

Both of us felt that that was too serious an issue to ignore. We just had to do something. We also just couldn't tell his parents. It would only make matters worse, right? Maybe even pushing him over the limit?

So, both of us hit on a plan to have him come to Lot 10 to spend his nearing holidays with us. A happier, more peaceful environment. We would then try our best to show him the beauty of life, the value of life & what life has to offer...and hopefully, remove such negative, even homicidal, thoughts from such a young mind!

Thank God the parents agreed to our offer of a holiday here for J...probably to them, it meant one less headache at home? Happy to get J out of their lives, even for a few days?

And thank God we could do as much as we possibly could to make life more meaningful & fill him with happy thoughts & happy times. Made him feel that he is somebody...respected him...as a person with feelings. And that Life can be & would be a great rewarding journey, etc., etc...

We knew we had got through to him at the end of that stretch of holidays with us cos another incident proved to us how J had felt the neglect & lack of attention by his parents to the extent of putting J's life then in danger! So sorry but this incident is not appropriate to be revealed here. TQ for understanding...

Well, that's Part 3b.

Part 4 ie the LAST part will be done in due time. Thanks for your interest up to this point.

Have a good week!

ps. Now some of you might be wondering why I'm putting all these as entries in my Blog now.

The main reason is...so that while I'm still sane & capable, all these incidents, feelings & hurt that I had, would one day be read by that "S" (if he still hasn't yet...), and... hopefully, when I'm gone or in total AD, he would see himself in his own "mirror" and would then become a better father (too late then to be a better son, sorry...).

The entries in this Blog would be a record of sorts...for "eternity", perhaps?

And, hopefully then, he would not, in his own words...to quote:

"turn out like you (meaning me) and make my children's life miserable like you are doing to me now!"

I am now 46 years young!!

Tues 20th Oct 2009

Yup, me am now 46 years young...or 64 years old! Whichever way you look at the figures, they still belong to me! Ha ha!

And yup, my Bday for 2009 had just passed me by...me don't feel any younger nor any older though. Still the same lil ole me inside...like it or not. That's the wonder of the human brain. Until AD finally sets in. However, when that does happen (if it does at all...), me would not know about it! Am I correct? Ha ha again...

Well, the special day in the year passed quite uneventfully.

In a nutshell, lunch & dinner were on my other half's account. Simple ones though...lunch was at Riverland in Star Parade whilst dinner, which was originally planned to be KS Mee at a special stall, was finally opposite it at Timuran. Inbetween lunch & dinner, it was a return visit to Tesco South @Sungei Petani.

All in all, the day was nice & warm, with my other half hand-in-hand with me throughout the day...till weariness of the past few days took its toll on us & we went to "La La Land" pretty fast that night!

Yup, the past few days before my Bday saw the arrival of our fav grandaughter, KL, and her family. Her presence & happy smiles, with her shrieks of the laughter of a happy, carefree child truly made Lot 10 ring with true happiness & great aura for the future! And, yup, they were here to have a pre-Bday do with KL's grandpa as KL's parents had to be back at work the day after their return home.

Thanks a meg, EL, for still respecting, loving & more so for tolerating your ole "incorrigible" dad! And yup, EL, you have only this one genuine Papa...his good & bad, all in a package. You call him "Papa" because he is truly your very own Papa!

A few pics, taken during the 2D1N that KL was here, had been included in the slideshow of KL in 2009 to the right of this Blog. Enjoy...

Happy days passed like lightning strikes...gone before you can savour the force. A good sign.

Today me accomplished finishing a project that me had planned for some time...installing a "floodlight" to light up the gate & porch area of Lot 10, controllable from within our master bedroom. In case of intruders in the night or when visibility is vital in the dark of night...

There it is...on the left. Looks kinda professionally installed, right?
I will be testing its efficiency tonight! Wish me luck....

In the meantime, it's Happy Birthday to me....kinda belated now but still as sincere...hehe....

And, not to forget, thanks a meg to one & all who remembered my special day...esp to the OKT gang of my working days!! Your thoughts of & your remembering lil ole me, coupled with your good wishes truly warmed me heart up!

And, of course, my greatest thanks of all thanks are to God for having given me one more year of Life! Me am looking forward to a happier & better, more peaceful year ahead! Amen.

The long frustrating and unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 3a.

Sat 171009

I know...I know...I did mention that Part 3 would be delayed...

However, KL & fmly's departure & arrival had been delayed...so me thought it would be just great (& enjoyable for you guys to read on this holiday...if you have nothing better to do?) if I could use the extra time I now have to relate a couple of interesting related incidents to the topic.

Yup, interesting...you be the judge tho...ok?

Incident #1:

One day in the past...both my other half & me made an unannounced trip to Penang. We were enjoying our walk-walk session in Gurney Plaza when a call came through on my hp. It appeared to be from that "S"'s wife. But the voice at the other end was NOT! It was from that "S"'s son.

I was asked by the small boy if I could come over to his home to settle a problem he was having with his mum. It appeared that the mother thought we were in A/S...too far away to be of any help to the poor boy!

It was a true great surprise when both of us showed up at their flat to answer to the boy's call for help!! Was she well & truly shocked to see us when she answered the door!!

God does work in mysterious ways...don't you agree?

Incident #2 :

This was related to us by that "S" himself....

It appeared that there was this time when that "S" (& maybe the other half, too?) was having a problem with the same son. This time around, that "S" threatened to open their car door and let the son out of the car...as punishment!
(NB. Imagine a father threatening that to his own son who was then just a small boy...no wonder that "S" could also threaten his own father so....)

Can you guess what & how that son answered his father...at his tender pre-school age? To quote...

"Let me call my 'Kong Kong' first! Then you can let me out of the car."

I was so touched then when I heard abt the incident. However, I decided to sacrifice my feelings for the small boy who had felt that his grandpa was the only person he knew who could save him...each & every time he was threatened by his parents...

From that time on, I told my other half that both of us must sacrifice ourselves for the future of this dear pitiful boy or else he would grow up so disconnected from and hating his parents...only knowing that his grandparents were the only ones who loved him!

So, from that day, we cut down our visits & time with our grandson...not matter how much such a sacrifice hurt us deep inside. It was for the long term good. We felt a son must somehow bond with and accept his parents no matter how his parents had treated him...they were his parents, good or bad... like them or not!

As often repeated, we cannot choose our parents nor can parents choose their children. Agreed?

There is a good ending to Incident #2 because we could see later that the small boy had finally accepted his parents for what they are....his parents! And that meant all our sacrifices were not in vain. Thank God for that...

Well, those were only 2 of many other incidents of relevance to this issue.

TQ for reading this far. And that's about it for now...Part 3b will have to been after KL & fmly have gone home and me fully recovered...haha!

Selamat Hari Deepavali again to one & all!

Happy Happy Diwali!

Sat 17th October 2009

Yup, today is Deepavali day or also know as Diwali...

So me am extending my warmest wishes to one & all who are celebrating this auspicious day...

HAPPY HAPPY DIWALI!!

To those who are not, I wish you Happy Holidays! Enjoy your day of rest...

Have a great day with family, loved ones, friends & colleagues!

The long, frustrating & unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 2.

Fri 161009

Yup, after a much needed break & breaths of fresh air, it's time to continue relating with this unbelievable disrespectful person with no regret, remorse nor realisation of all his wrong-doings. From now on, it would be easier & save me some typing if that person is referred to that "S". Sounds like something we all know, right? Ha ha!

Let's travel back to his pre-marriage days.

That "S", when advised to go slow in his personal relationship, he retorted in the presence of my other half (who can bear witness) that he would not need any help whatsoever from me when the time comes for him to get married!

However, when that time came, it was the total reverse! Just imagine...

1. For his "bridal suite" in Lot 10, he told my other half to just use a piece of cloth to cover the old worn & dirty headboard of his old bed to be used as their wedding bed! Now, could any father who had love for his son, in spite of that "S"'s past behaviour & no matter what that "S" had said to him before, stand by & allow that to happen? What would that "S"'s bride-to-be think of his family & esp of her husband-to-be? A husband who is a "banker" (or so he called himself) but could not even afford a proper new bed for his wife?

And so it was, that this father dug into his overdraft account again & re-furnished another room (after repainting it) with a brand new furniture set for that "S" & his bride to use as their "bridal suite".

2. I organised the wedding dinner here. The irony of it all was after that that "S" came to see both of his parents and asked for ALL the angpows given by our relatives & friends whom we had invited & had entertained! The nerve of that "S"...knowing fully well that ALL expenses incurred for all wedding expenses here was borne by his parents, using funds not readily available but from our overdraft secured from the mortgage of our home!

Now, did we hear wrongly or did he tell us that he would not need any of our help, etc., etc., etc.?

Then came his move to a rented flat when both of them got transferred to Penang. He could not afford to pay the full monthly rental for the flat. It was then that I suggested to my daughter who, at that time, was renting a room by herself in another area, to instead rent a room from her own brother. And by so doing, she would be helping her bro to afford to rent the flat for his family. Now I wonder if he could still remember that arrangement? Or maybe he (& wife) had thought they were the ones doing my daughter (his sister) a favour? And maybe still does?

More importantly, I personally bought new furniture & most items necessary eg double bed with mattress, dressing table, cooking cabinet c/w stove, gas, automatic washing machine, etc in order that he could start his life in a complete environment. Another issue of thousands of $$$, from a father who did not have the available funds but who did so anyway...

And... after that "S"'s son was born through a difficult & almost "dry" delivery, I can now still remember a couple of his friends telling him in the corridor of the hospital that he "is a father now and would know what his parents felt & went through when they had and took care of him... " Now one wonders if his memory is now impaired, even at his younger-than-me age?

Furthermore, his son then needed to stay back & be treated longer in the hospital even though the mother could be discharged. And guess who came to his rescue? His wife? His InLaws? Nope. Guess again. Yup, You got it! Correct...morally, emotionally and financially!!

On the emotional side, that "S" had, from time to time, threatened to take his own life! 1 way which I could remember that he had wanted to do...was by jumping off the Penang Bridge!! We spent many phone calls, listening to his woes, problems, etc, etc. Consoling, encouraging & supporting him. Did all we knew how.

Well, what can I say? Looked like we were successful, right? Or else that "S" won't be alive today, right? And I would not be suffering all these 19+ months, from his disrespect in March 2008....

What could be worse?

According to that "S", every day...every second, he was on his toes! He told that to both my other half & me during one of those "comforting" cum "moral-uplifting" sessions that we had with him each time before we left for home after visiting him & family. Yup, his confessions were then free-flowing...from his aching tortured heart.
(NB. Sincerely hope you guys know what is meant by being "on one's toes"... )

And yup, he poured out his heart & home problems to both of us very often many times after we had visited him & family. At times it took up so much time until even his wife had to call him up on his H/P to ask why he was taking so long & not back up to the flat yet...!

Now, are all those mentioned above the normal duties & responsibilities of a parent at those points in a child's life? When he's already an adult, working, before marriage, after marriage, even when he's a father with his own child?

You tell me...

Part 3?...soon. Pls be patient. TQ.

UPDATE : @ 10:42pm.
It now appears that Part 3 would have to be somewhat delayed. KL & family would be visiting Lot 10 tomorrow ie Sat 171009. After that, lil ole me would need the same ole "recovery" period...hehe...sincere apologies for the delay. TQ in adv.

The long, frustrating & unrewarding road of a loving father...Part 1.

Fri 16 October 2009

Yup, no one would agree more than me that it was, is and will always be no easy task to be a father...a parent. No matter how hard one tries, our kids will always find fault in us at some point in time, somehow...even somewhere. No escape there...as every parent will find out one fine day... don't you be surprised, ok?

However, to be so deeply hurt by such actions of such a terribly disrespectful, unfeeling & uncaring person whom we had so lovingly brought up, nurtured & supported all his life even until he had a family & his own kids? I sincerely hope no other parent had to go through what I had to.

After the incident in March 2008 (pls refer to entries in that month & later ones for details), many had told me that "Blood is thicker than water" and that as a father, I should find it in my heart to forgive this disrespectful son.

Actually, when, at 1 point in time, that son's wife commented that she was surprised at how fast this father could forgive a wrongdoing, I had told him that his father ' is a very forgiving person '. I was...still am...but not to this son now... after what had transpired through these unbelievable 19+ months! Pls read on...and hopefully you will understand why...

A son who was already 37 years old, married with 2 kids, at the time the said incident happened? At a time when I was (still am) in my right mind, alert, alive & kicking? How would this person treat me should I be really old, helpless, maybe even bed-ridden & senile with AD? YOU tell me...

In all sincerity, I could not and up till today, I still could not help those ppl to understand the reasons why I could not forgive this son as all loving fathers should be able to unless I revealed all the years of events that had taken place between the two of us. It's no ordinary father-son relationship. It's whole lots deeper. It would be like "washing dirty linen in public." Unless, of course, it's a question of "Hobson's Choice"?

However, at this point in time & at this stage, more than 19 months after the incident, with NO hope in sight of any knowledge, feeling of remorse / regret, positive action or whatever from that son, I now feel that I should make it very clear, once & for all, why my forgiveness was not forthcoming & none could be given by anyone who had gone through what I had gone through all these long hurtful years!

Pray do have patience and bear with me while I relate as much as I possibly can...to enlighten once & for all the long hard road I had travelled, through thick & thin, my sacrifices, for this person who was my son but now only looks like him but no longer behaves like the son we had nor have any true love nor feelings of gratitude for all that his loving father had done & sacrificed for him. Not only till he started working but even after he had his own son!

And he even dared to ask me, "...who is more hurt?". Pls read the quote of his sms statement in my earlier entry of 151009.

This walk down this painful memory lane would need more than 1 entry in this Blog. I am also hopeful that one day, our "friend" would have his poor memory refreshed through my entries in this Blog.

For a start, here goes...

Let's skip all those that I had done for him throughout his school days cos most would then say that that would all be the normal duties & responsibilities of bringing up a child that we brought into this world. Agreed? Me, too.

It would suffice to say that as a loving & responsible father, I successfully brought him back onto the correct road each & every time he took the wrong turn in life in spite of the many bad leanings towards the wrongdoings of a potential bad character.

As examples....

1. He was literally a thief in his primary school days! Sincere apologies but can't reveal the exact truth.;
2. He refused to study at another point in his primary school days just because he was envious of his classmate who had a set of encyclopedias. Consequently, to get him to restart studying, I had to buy 1 set for him through long term hire-purchase as our family was not financially sound;
3. He was almost "lured" into smoking during his secondary school years. If he had not been "taught" well by me, God knows if he might have ended up as a drug addict...
4. In his 2nd year in Form 6, he totally gave up preparing for the STPM exam! I found him listening daily to music in bed during the final term. When asked, he confirmed not wanting to study & prep for the exam anymore. I had a long talk with him, got him to see the light & he finally relented, did some preparations and successfully obtained a full cert with 2 Principles & 2 Subsids. He would have failed.

After that I found him unsure of what he wanted to do and luckily I found a paying course for computer programming by IBM. When he agreed to go, I paid for it & enrolled him for the 1 year course. All expenses on the family...still in spite of our low financial capability.

While staying with a relative in KL during the duration of the course, he was accused of mis-using the home telephone. I defended him & got him off the hook.

Then came the period when he started working in a local bank in which he found a position as a teller. Both me & my other half asked him if he wanted to further his studies instead of working but he turned down our offer, so positive he wanted to work. We offered. His own decision. Fair enough, right?

However, recently, when I asked my other half to question him as to what he meant when he told me in my face during the March 08 incident, his answer was that I had sent my daughter for further studies but I didn't do the same for him!! And by not doing so for him, I supposedly owe him MORE....

Now, can you imagine how ridiculous...maybe even how stupid...that answer was? Coming from a person who is now a Manager in a well-known banking group? Fortunately my other half remembered certain details of this son's life well enough to answer back that we DID offer him to go for further studies but he flatly refused to study anymore! He only wanted to work. Thank God for that. Or else it would have been like the Malay proverb "mencurah air ke atas daun keladi..."

Now for his adult days...time when he already had a "wife". Is such a period still a father's duty & responsibility to take care of him?

He met with a serious accident during working hours. He hit a van carrying a load of workers. 1 worker was killed. Now who would you think he called? His father specifically! In general, his parents. I drove down to SP that night & found him with blood on his shirt! Thank God he was otherwise ok. It was a long session in the police station.

A long wait for the trial because he was charged for dangerous driving resulting in death... with serious consequences if found guilty. His career was at stake, not forgetting maybe even a prison term! He was lucky because that charge was later reviewed & then came with a mandatory prison sentence if guilty. He was, however, still charged under the older act because the new act was not back-dated.

Then came the long tedious trial after trial which dragged on & on. The insurance company lawyer dropped him on his own for the criminal case against him, having settled out of court the civil case. What do you think this son did...again? Called his father for help! Didn't he have a "wife"?

I got my daughter to help to find him a good lawyer & she successfully did. Lawyer fees? Do you think his wife would do all she could to save her husband from losing his career? Even going to prison? Nope. Reason as given by this son...her money was all tied up in shares!! Phew...I learnt for the first time that shares could not be sold! Or could they? Pls enlighten me. TQ.

At each & every trial we were there, supporting him, sitting in the public gallery in the Magistrates Court in SP, paying the lawyer's fees each & every time it was demanded. Now where could poor ole me get the $$$? Through overdraft from mortgaging our home!!

Thank God he was acquitted. The lawyer did his work well. Thousands of $$$ gone but we both felt relieved & happy that our son was saved, career and all....

Btw, what happened to the damaged car? Who paid for the repairs? Your guess...

One last thing, during his working career, in another bank, he incurred losses....presumably through his negligence according to the bank. Now who did he call for help? Who helped to reimburse those losses? YOU guess again....

Now, didn't he still have a "wife"?

Finally, for now, one last item. On one of his trips back to Penang while driving his wife's car, he met with an accident...it seems he hit a dog! Now who did he call? Again? His ole father! Who paid for the repairs to his wife's car? RM500? You guess....

End of first installment. Pls be patient & wait for the next....

A Tsunami of the domestic kind...

Thu 151009

Yup, a "Typhoon cum Tsunami" practically broke through the defences within Lot 10 & raged from Tue 13th evening till late night of 14th Oct! A disaster of great magnitude in Lot 10.

Well, when that finally weathered out and an eerie but quiet calm fell within Lot 10, all feelings & whatever emotions of hope for the return of the "prodigal son" that had remained but gradually lessened day by day after more than 19 months of wait, filled with anxiety, worry & heartaches for both inmates of Lot 10, were practically drained dry...

The end of the road was reached...finally.

And yup, the last communication, of what appeared to be a last glimmer of hope, was received via sms on Father's Day but since then, no sign whatsover of any positive & affirmative action was felt nor visible. Just a vacuum. Consequently, the full power of the accumulated pent-up energy of strong emotions ( all 19+ mths of it ) practically ripped throught the premises of Lot 10, culminating in the room allocated to that disrespectful person who still looks like our son but only physically...NO more our son in all other aspects! Yup, the son we knew is no more.

And yup, a son, who had disrespected his very own father in no uncertain terms and continued to act as though his father does not even exist, has now also himself faded away into anonymity in that father's eyes & heart! Thank God for opening my eyes what that ungrateful person truly is...so undeserving to be recognised & now do not qualify to be called my son.

A son so lost in his fantasy world since becoming a somebody. A son who had forgotten his very own roots. He had been, was, and is now a manager who feels he is greater than his very own father! That his father owes him more.

This person is one who had stated that (a true quote...in italics! I have it as a hardcopy.):

" I have a family with schedules. (Is he the only manager who has a family with schedules?) ....If it is as important to you ( ie his father), being a retiree, you should be coming over instead (ie to patch up after the disrespect incident).... but I see no effort from your end. So who is more hurt?"

Can you just imagine how naive a person can be? The wrong-doer...the disrespectful person telling the father that?

Further, he does not realise that when he is in the family home, he is nothing more than just a son...not the manager of his father...and his father to whom he has owed everything (his life, his wife, his son, his career...) was still his father, is still his father and still will be his father, no matter how hard he tries to make & treat his father as a nobody & even NON-existent!

Pity...downright sad even...that even such a soul of a good son before, can turn so bad since being promoted to be a manager. All upbringing had come to nought! Even a stray dog can wag its tail when it recognises one who gives it food.

And yup, I thank God that this belated "cleansing" of whatever is left of this disrespectful & ungrateful soul in Lot 10 had thus started and would soon end. I can now only pray that with that, Peace & Happiness will return to within the walls of good ole Lot 10, without this spectre of influences of such an evil soul lurking around & popping its vicious head at the most unexpected moments and causing havoc between my other half & me, thereby destroying the peace & harmony that had been the hallmark of Lot 10.

Now my prayers are for nothing more than pure calm, peaceful & happy days ahead...and as in my Bday wish previously written in an earlier entry, I sincerely wish & pray to God that there will be Peace & Happiness in the lives of both my other half & me in our final years ahead and that we will both be able to walk together, hand in hand, till the day one of us has to leave the other behind!

Amen.

ps. That "Typhoon & Tsunami" ravaged room would, in time, be converted into a simple guest room...a room for visitors who "come happy, stay happy & leave happy"...

Big Tesco #2 in SP!

Mon 121009

Yup, a NEW Tesco branch has sprung up in S. Petani, Kedah a few days ago! On Oct 9th, to be exact. Just a stone's throw away from Giant SP...now is that a coincidence or what?

Well, yours truly here decided to make a beeline for this new Tesco (me will refer to it as Tesco SP South from now as the older, smaller one is near the North Toll Plaza to SP) yesterday ie 111009, only the 3rd day from its opening.

The place was easy to find, being just by the roadside (sort of) and clearly visible from some distance away. Moreover, one is helped along by the many signs with arrows showing the way...

Yup, this Tesco SP South is BIG...as advertised...the biggest? hypermarket in SP! 3 Floors of it! Seeing is believing! After this visit, Tesco Mergong in A/Star is now kinda "tiny"?

There are lots of shoplots to shop around and it was complete with a number of restaurants, besides the usual Food Court. We planned (upon arrival) to have our lunch at the Chicken Rice Shop....feeling safer to do so...from experience...haha! However, when lunch time came, that place was full to its brim! As it was, lunch was finally taken at Old Town White Coffee restaurant...and, even there, there was only ONE table vacant! Phew! And yup, there was a crowd by then...with ppl still streaming in...

Here are a couple of pics of the shoplots area...on the 1st floor...

And 1 more pic here to make it 3....haha!

So, what do you think? Nice? Pics not show the crowd cos they were taken upon arrival and me waited for a "clear view", not wanting to offend anyone caught in the pics...

Believe it or not, we spent more than 4 hours there, including lunch, of course! And time really flew...but we didn't leave empty-handed though. Me almost landed with an extra big bill (RM899) but sanity ruled. The "need" won against the "want"! No "fight" at all.

However, back in Lot 10, when we discussed what we had seen while we were there, it was soon realised that we still did not know all about what's what & where as well as what's really there in Tesco SP South. The conclusion? Another visit is so needed! Ha ha!

Btw, last Saturday, 101009, was the usual COD (Chef's Off Day). Not to bore you here, lunch & dinner were simple meals out. Cine Nite was good with the movie "The Proposal". If you have not seen that one, you should...the most unexpected of things can happen to 2 persons!

Well, another week is here. What can I say but to be thankful for another "bonus" week gone by!

Have a good week ahead! Ok?

Autogate prob...

Thu 081009

Yup, the uncertainties of electronics... working well & suddenly failing 1 fine day! And yup, as the title says it all...it's a prob with our autogate system.

Our autogate sys has a feature whereby the gate lights (including a spotlight) are switched on only when it is dark (eg at night)...not each & every time the gate is opened as in most other systems.
This is because our system has a light-sensor unit just below the autogate motor. Pic of such a sensor is on the left.

Well, a few nights ago, we came home to almost complete darkness! The lights didn't switch on although the gate was already open!

That started a minor "investigation" the next day when upon opening up the light-sensor unit connections, it was found to be dirty. Me thought it was normal since our system had been installed for some years already. Moreover, our porch had been flooded a no. of times & the light-sensor unit was under water each time.

So, after some cleaning & use of an electronic cleanser spray, a few tests conducted ( in daytime but using the hand to put the sensor into "night mode") showed that it worked. Me was then relieved & happy.

However, when night came, it just didn't! Why? Frankly me had no idea. But on further trying, it worked intermittenly...actually rarely! Just a couple of times but none towards the end of testing.

And this morning the problem became full-blown when all attempts failed to rectify the problem. Yup, me went out & bought 3 of those light-sensor units...ones that looked exactly the same as the original one that supposedly failed. Only RM3.50 a unit...total only RM10. Yup, a discount was kindly given by the boss of the electronic parts shop...a friend. Three times I changed to a new unit but it worked only once during the numerous tries...opening & closing the gate while also closing the unit with my hand so that it was not exposed to any light...to simulate night time.
Finally it was the "enough is enough" state of affairs!

A call was made to the autogate system supplier for help. And help came at around 2pm. Our "friend" tried this & tried that. All without success...just like me! Various suspicions were thrown out by me with proof that they were unfounded.

Finally, our "friend" told me that he would come back later to try with an "original" light-sensor unit from his shop. Well, at the point of keying in this entry, our "friend" is still not back yet....

Anyway, both me & my "partner" (yup, my other half) have decided to let it be, namely if it doesn't work as it should, we would disconnect the light-sensor unit & let the autogate system be like most other ppl's ie lights would come on each & every time the gate is opened irrespective of day or night, bright or dark. We felt that it's not worth changing the whole PCB (control unit board) just for this one feature. Agreed? Bad economic times call for wise decisions & sacrifices of non-essential items. Yup, the "need" & the "want" philosophy applies.

Well, me have to go now...in case our "friend" comes back....

Wish me (& the autogate system) luck...we do need all the luck...

UPDATE : 081009 at 8:55 pm

Yippee! Eureka! Success...yup, me found out cause(s) of our autogate problem! Hopefully confirmed in a couple of days of testing...

1. Previous unit was already faulty due to ageing, thereby misleading results of attempts to rectify & subsequent tests;
2. The moving of a nearby LLN electrical pole c/w street lamp (dictated by the latest new TB2 housing development progress) nearer to front of Lot 10 had increased light levels in our porch area. Consequently, the area, where the light-sensor was, was never dark enough for the sensitive light-sensor unit to detect & respond as dark enough to enable the switching on of the lights!

Action has been taken to reduce the amount of light falling upon the light-sensor unit by reducing the glass surface area that light reach its sensor plate so that it would detect as dark enough in the late evening to enable it to work as it should. And all tests tonight were really positive & rewarding! Me real happy...at least for now....

So if me not make further updates on this issue, the "No news is Good News" philosophy applies. Gnite!

My new life...

Tue 061009

Yup, March 2008 opened my eyes wide open & brought me right down to earth! And yup, I found myself, most probably, at the final crossroads in my life on this Earth...

Being already in my golden years, it was a very turbulent & confused state of affairs for me & my other half. We were literally torn apart...in part due to our different perspectives of what had transpired. In part, it was also affected by the emotions of an understandably "blinded" emotional biological mother, grabbing at every available straw to cover for the "sins" of one she had no choice but to give birth to. A solid "wall" came up between both of us...and emotions flared, on & off, beyond our control as to what course that we, as husband & wife and especially, as father & mother, should take...together, hand in hand, or otherwise...
(Note : To those who have no inkling of what is being referred to here, pls refer to entries in & from March, 2008. TQ.)

Well, a lot of water has flowed under that bridge since March 2008...19 months now. The wounds had been deep. Real deep. Unbelievably deep. Under such circumstances, the belief that time heals all wounds do not ring true any more. To stop the hurt going deeper & causing more harm, one had to block & fend off any feelings that could affect one's sanity. Feelings ranged from shock to disbelief to anger to frustration to disappointment and to regret. Until finally, there was only surrender, a total surrender to the cruel realities of what Life can be. At the end of it all, only the lack of feelings remained. Nothing more than only pure numbness...an emptiness where love once was.

Soon me am gonna be 1 more year wiser and after being more enlightened & after all the emotions had passed...practically drained away, me am also able to see Life as is so much more clearly. Especially the road ahead that me have to take now. To remain sane... to find peace & be happy while both of us still have our lives...our "TOL" ie temporary occupation licence on this Earth which may expire at any time.

Yup, for one thing, as frequently quoted, one cannot choose one's biological child nor can a child choose his biological parent. That is a fact that one has no choice but to face reality & accept, like it or not. Better late than never...as another saying goes. And most importantly, not to be viciously dragged down into self-pity & one's own destruction! A Hobson's Choice.

Then again, there is this here puzzle that me kinda need help to answer...

So, pls do allow me to ask you...

If a father were to tell ppl that he had no son, would ppl believe him? Likewise, if a person were to tell ppl that he had no father, would ppl believe him? What do you think?

As Life is, at this point in one's life, what is important is not how many children one has but do the children that he has, respect & love him as their parent? Especially if he had been there for them throughout their life & without whose support they would not have been what they are today? Probably not even alive, maybe? Haha!

Well, what can I say? Life is cruel. It can be very cruel. Especially if it were to reveal the true feelings that your children might have had for you during this final leg in your walk in Life's journey. It hurts. Deep. And after 19 months, no excuse, no reasons whatsoever nor could any sane person come up with a plausible cause of all the silence, inaction & such lack of feelings from a child who had survived his adulthood & marriage from the never-failing support of his parent.

Some had commented (understandably & expected) that all that support, care & love are the duties & responsibilities of a parent. Yup, I do agree, too...up to a point. Yup, if that parent were a normal parent, carrying out the duties & responsibilities within the scope that normal parents usually do. Now, let me see...was I just a normal parent?

What can I say....
When the details of what this parent did for that child were revealed, then those comments were silenced...simply because this was no normal parent...so much more beyond the call of duty of a normal parent...even up to when that child got married & even after he had his own child! So sorry but that's as far as me can go...here. The truth is with him, my other half and me. And yup, of course, with God, too!

So what is left to do?

Thankfully, my other half & me had weathered the typhoons & stormy seas that came in our way and we had managed to find a common calm path to walk together, hopefully hand in hand, until either one of us drops out of the way...
As most would tell you, the one who drops out first, in the journey through Life, is the truly LUCKY one...if you get what I mean.

However, that is in the future & one cannot foretell the future, right? In God's hands...

My birthday wish? A simple one. To be allowed to enjoy peace & happiness through whatever years I might be blessed with, in reasonably good health, so that I would be independent of anyone until it's time to for me to walk into the Light...

I've often repeated to both my "kids", before & after they had left the nest, as to their visits to Lot 10...a simple pre-condition... "Come Happy...". Unfortunately, that was expanded (by one lost, heartless soul) to be "Come Happy...but create chaos when here before you leave! Then leave behind the chaos that you have created in the family which you feel is not yours anymore..."

Now I feel that it should have been ..." Come Happy, Stay Happy & Leave Happy... "

To me, HOME is where the heart is...and mine is in Lot 10!

Happy Birthday to lil ole me! Soon....hehe...And, of course, may my wish come true...

That month of the year...

Mon Oct 5, 2009

Yup, it's that month of the year again...the month in which the one special day in my life falls on! And yup, that day is my birthday! Coming soon...

Sometimes I really wish that mine would fall on the 29th of February...cos then I wouldn't have to think about it for at least 3 years before it comes again...the peace & tranquility that I yearn for so much these days. No more wandering thoughts. No thoughts of what had been, was, is and would be. Life would certainly be nice for a change. Don't you think so? I guess not. Not when you are NOT me, right?

I know...I know...all babies cry at birth! Kinda like knowing they are coming out into a "cruel" world. A world full of suffering. You don't have to remind me. I know. But inside all of us, isn't there this wish for as much happiness in our lives as possible? Within our control? Don't you agree?

However, those wandering thoughts, of the unhappy kind, have been keeping me awake these past few days of this special month. Thoughts of how & what could happen to disturb the peace & tranquility that Lot 10 had meant to me all these years. Fortunately, I now have help...help that I never thought I would ever need. Help in the form of an effective drug. An anti-anxiety drug. And yup, it's the very same one that MJ took but not one that caused his death! Ha ha!

However, it didn't work so well the other day when thoughts went so "wild" & more so with some added unexpected triggering stress factors. Luckily it worked the 2nd time around & me slept like a baby that 2nd night. Thanks, Upjohn55 & APO 0.5!! I would have been a real "wreck" if not for these 2 "heaven-sent" tiny little pieces of wonder...

Frankly, I had pictured my retirement years as ones of happy & close family times together. However, fate dealt me a fatal blow & I now have a totally different path to take...one that I now choose to take so as to find peace & happiness now that past visions & hopes are no more. Even Lot 10 does not feel the same anymore. I'm finding my way throught this new maze in my life...slowly but surely. Wish me strength & luck as I travel on this new road towards the final days of my new life!

Anyway, it's not nice to dwell over such unhappy thoughts but to let them pass us by...for the sake of sanity. There's no understanding why. Moreover, we can't change history. Nor see what the future holds. But just plain see the days through. And move forward to the days ahead. Better days...hopefully happier, too.

And with such views that meet our eyes every morning, day & night, what else can be more beautiful than huge new yet "untouched" buildings! Yup, buildings of TB2 are nearing "vacant possession" stage, if me not wrong. A couple of pics to show views from the front of Lot 10 as of this morning...

Pic on top left shows what's right in front of the gate of Lot 10 while the other shows what's to the left ie further down the road...
Guess our new neighbours wouldn't be that far away from us since the road isn't gonna be widened by much as was previously expected... Agreed?

Well, one more nice view that we now get is that of our Taiping orchid plant. Sorry but I just can't remember it's name. It's now blooming like it's catching up on lost time!


Can you see the 2nd stalk of flowers coming out while the first is still in full bloom?

This orchid plant is certainly worth more than the RM15 we paid for it then!!

Like ppl keep telling us, life is what one makes of it. And it's true...in its own funny little ways.

If we push away all thoughts that make us UNhappy, we will feel happy. And each day of our life will be happy. It's up to US! We must do so before that light in us goes out & our life is no more. How? Simple. Just let those who wish us well & happiness in BUT let those who wish us bad & hurt OUT...

And really...at this point in our lives, nothing else matters...

Of course, to make life even better, there is that little item lovingly nicknamed as "Vitamin M"...hehe...now, where is our Kay Pa's promised early Deepavali packet? Hopefully tomorrow? That would certainly complete a truly happy life! That of a pensioner.

Have a good week, everyone! Be happy...