Yup, there is more to the "filial" love thing...and since it involves you & me ( and everyone else, right? ), let's dwell a bit more into it, ok?
Well, you might have heard of this evergreen oldie...that ever so difficult-to-answer question. Yup, it's simply this :
If your mother, your wife/husband & you were in a boat out where no other help is available. And the boat capsized...sunk maybe. Now, who would you save?Frankly, me had posed that question to both my kids at 1 point in time but they could ( maybe dared not ) answer...? Maybe too young to make a firm decision? No wife/husband yet? Can't help wondering what their answer would be now...? Not that it really matters to us now...we are both lots wiser now...hehe....
Note : You have only the capability to save ONLY ONE of them!!
Anyway, that question had been "teasingly" brought up a couple of times during my working days...and a common response would be "I would try to save both!". And that in spite of that one special condition stated. And with the completely understandable reason that both are important ppl to oneself.
However, there are also answers that were voiced by more outspoken ppl, namely : ( Pls substitute husband for wife where applicable. )
1. I would save my mother. Because I can have only ONE mother - the one who gave birth ( & life) to me...whereas I can always remarry & have another wife!! A wife is just someone we married...can be separated or even divorced for tons of reasons! A mother is like forever...
2. I would save my wife. Reason? I am going to spend the rest of my life with my wife! (Note: Are you so sure of that?) My mother is old & may die at any time. It's my future life that I have to think about...
Any other reasons for whichever answer you might choose?
Of course, the best is to still save both...your mother cos she's your only true mother & your wife cos she's the one you have chosen to marry...both being important ppl in yr life!
The nagging question & difficult thought to wrestle with is who is MORE important to you? Who do you love more? Now, a sincere answer would indeed be very revealing...
Over to you now...
One other thing before we close this entry....
I assume you have been to at least a few wakes of your relatives or friends, right? Ok...how is the atmosphere at those wakes? Solemn? Sad? Maybe even depressing?
No? No? Really none of those? Yup, agreed! Personally, I've been to quite a number of wakes in my life. In my younger days, family members of the departed were sad...some even visibly crying...shedding genuine tears of sorrow of losing a loved one.
I remember going to visit a Malay family in Pahang (when I was working there in my younger days) ...the son of which was my lab attendant. He passed away due to chronic kidney failure. The atmosphere was truly solemn...one can feel the sadness..the loss of someone so loved...in the air. To muslims, a person dying is like he has gone to meet his God and everyone should be happy for him. But I did not see anyone happy...even the menfolk could be seen struggling to hold back their tears of sorrow. I felt it, too.
However, most wakes these days are like "re-unions"...getogethers. Lots of "long time no see" being thrown around. I have yet to see anyone really crying...even outwardly sad. Except for the coffin & the new but temporary interior decor, the place does not "sound" like or appear to be a place of mourning...that someone lost some loved one. Siblings, family members appear relieved, happy even, that a huge burden has been lifted off their shoulders...that they now really have their own lives to live...their lives kinda better. Improved even. Esp so if the departed is an old family member...like parents. Even an excuse for celebration should the departed be really really OLD...Phew!
Filial love? Does it still exist? Nope. At that point in time, it does not seem to exist anymore. Sad but true. Hurting to realise? The truth hurts...like it always does. Don't even think about it. When the time comes, you'll be at peace. Be happy to go. Just go...
No matter what or how you may feel...that's life as it is today. Like it or not. Kinda like a Hobson's Choice...if you know what that means.
I hear ppl around me telling ppl around them what they would like to have done when their time to go comes. Frankly, when that time comes, it's not for one to choose...we won't be around anymore...we cannot say what we want anymore. It's up to the living to do what they wanna do. What is more important is what happens when we are still alive & around...Correct me if I'm wrong.
Acceptance appears to be the only & the best solution. Anything else is at your own peril! No one is gonna shed a tear if you think or feel otherwise. Whatever little love that ever existed would be turned into hatred...believe me!
So do be happy & enjoy the moment...whatever will be, will be. I'm still trying...haha!
Have a great new week ahead! Another 7-day bonus of life...if you get past it...
ps. If you see any future entries in here, it can only mean that me got my 7-day bonus liao! And you did, too! Haha!
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