The Winds of Change...

Mon 13th Oct 2008

Yup, you guessed correctly! And yup again, this is gonna be another philosophical ranting from little ole me...haha! So, if you're not in the mood, do pray go somewhere else lo. To those who proceed reading this entry, my sincere apologies for any repeats. Unintentional...just the "AD factor" in this ole man...

Ever since my retirement, I've had so much more time on my hands to reflect on happenings & changes to & in my life...my hopes, my dreams and whatnots.

I always had that feeling inside myself that what I've tried to do ( many of which are not the norm of things a father/parent is supposedly responsible & required to do ) would result in a family that's so much closer-knit and so much more caring of one another than what I've seen around me at that time.

But, alas, as time passed, one by one...my hopes, my dreams, my expectations... have been periodically, step by step, dashed! All that, which had happened so far in my life, have proven that all my rebellous efforts against the established norms of behaviour, have been in vain. Can't say here that I was not forewarned. I was. I just believed more in myself...my strong faith in my family.

Now, at this point in time, nothing is better nor improved...compared with families who stuck by the time-tested parental behaviour & decisions. In fact, one can even say that my life is worse...worse than if I had been like other parents. Those whom I know...those who stuck to their minimum responsibilities as parents, have appeared to come out better & with a seemingly happier life now. Trying to be different, apparently, does not pay!

Who am I to be different? Who am I to prove others wrong? Who am I to change what Life is? Who am I to expect anything more or different?

The answer? A stupid idealistic ole fool!! One who doesn't know his place in this world...a dreamer.

At such times, words like "Don't expect anything!"; "Water in a river never flows upstream..." ; "That's life..."; keep on re-cycling in my mind.

Don't expect anything? I believe...With hopes & expectations alive in one's heart, one can then only have something to live for...wishing maybe nothing more than just a happy & comfortable ending to one's journey through life? With one's family members sharing one's life? Esp after one had carried out one's responsibilities as a parent to one's best capabilities, even against all odds, and brought one's family to a successful conclusion? Is that kind of expectation wrong? To be faced with the lowest of all humiliation & disrespect at this time of one's life is to be expected? And not the reverse? YOU tell me.

Yup, water in a river never flows upstream...agreed! But when a stream has been nurtured to develop into a great river, aren't those close to it to inadvertently or indirectly receive some heart-warming benefits, however small, in the process? Could be just the pride & joy of being next to a great river? Not just incessant floods & uncontrolled damage to all around it?

That's life? All this while, I had felt & believed that life is what one makes of it. The results of one's hard labour? The fruits to be enjoyed at the end of the day? Nope. It doesn't appear to be that to me anymore. The trees that we've cultivated with such tender loving care, but which we had to leave to fend for themselves at maturity, would be exposed to all the elements of the world. And, if unlucky, they would be attacked & probably overwhelmed by those evil elements so powerful as to undo all the good that we had previously showered upon them. Consequently, these trees might be stricken with some incurable disease that would be so devastatingly harmful to all around them...maybe even fatal....if one does not dissociated them from our ever so vulnerable selfs. One would ultimately have to leave them or forever be doomed in the process! Like a stab in the back? In my case, it was like murder in broad daylight? Like a saying goes...one has to cut off a gangrenous limb before the poison spreads and kills the whole body!

If the above are what Life truly is, then what can one to do?

From what I've been fortunate to witness - and now learning...the hard way, one has only but one choice. Acceptance is the key. Be happy with what one has left. We started life's journey with only our life partner...only the 2 of us. Now, we are back to only the 2 of us (finally only 1 would be left)...whether we like it or not. Every new day is a bonus from God. Each new day is to be treasured because it could be our last. Anything else good that comes our way, is also a bonus, with God's blessing. No expectations now but only that of Peace, Happiness & Good Health. And, of course, a pleasant trip when leaving this world...when the time comes...

PEACE.

And may God bless you, too...enjoy your Bonus Day #1 for this new week!!

ps. Cine Nite on Sunday was "Get Smart", the movie. Enjoyable. The ole Get Smart hilarious blunders. Even "The Rock" was there, in a supportive role. Try it...if you like action comedies.