An "aftershock"...

Sat 160110

Yup, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit Haiti just a few days ago. Somehow, an "aftershock" ripped through Lot 10 after lunch today!

And yup, the cause was...you guessed it! That "S"'s situation again!

Lot 10 & it's inmates had been enjoying peace & tranquility for some time already. However, it was too good to be true. Too good to last. Now feels like an illusion. Maybe a dream? Me was hoping it would last & that my other half had a better grasp of the issues at hand. Especially after that day of "Closure". ( Pls check out earlier entries re "Closure". TQ.)

As is, the issue about the preparation & distribution of angpows for the coming "Tiger" year came up and once again, that "S"'s family was brought into the limelight.

I had thought that, with the seemingly improved relationship of past weeks, my other half would be receptive of a mutually agreeable handling of the problem at hand. It appeared like just a simple question of "Since that "S" had not, did not & still does not respect nor accept me as his natural father, it simply boils down to a simple fact that I no longer qualify to be the grandfather of his kids"! No father...no grandfather...Doesn't that go hand-in-hand? Simple conclusion. Correct?

And in this family, since Day #1 of our lives together, both me & my other half do not have any "in-betweens" of things we do. Whatever is done, is done by both. A very simple philosophy that had worked well all these 41 years!

But today, she insisted that she wanted to continue with the practice of giving out the angpows...not personally as we no longer have any physical meeting with that "S"'s family but through a 3rd party. Last year there was the same insistence but then it was already just a few days away from CNY. And me didn't want to create any scene, thereby spoiling the CNY & thus agreed (under protest, though) to her intention.

But now, it was brought up a month before CNY...and guess what was her response? A straight query...

" Can he come back? "

That did it! It was back to "Square One"...so to say. I had to explain all over again that "that "S" had 360 days to come back...but did he?" And so the "merry-go-round" continued. Same ole "lack" of understanding of the seriousness of the issues. Or should I say "denial" & "refusal" to face the reality of the situation.

(NB. For those who have not been following this Blog, pls refer to past entries starting from March 2008. Too long a story to repeat here. TQ.)

Well, I'm so tired of having to repeat & repeat.

To me, nothing matters more now than how my other half sees me. Who am I to her? And of course, what's in her heart.

I always ended up being the guy who had done wrong...that I should close my eyes to the way how this "S" had disrespected me, not forgetting the accusations that "S" had hurled at me! And even that I was the one who had stopped him from coming back....blah, blah, blah...

I am so tired....I've used all ways that I knew to make it clear that that "S" could have come back on any of the 360 days in a year (only 5 days are excluded...for the simple reason that I wish for peace & my sanity on those 5 days. And I've repeated that umteen times.)

It's been almost 2 years now. I have asked her time & time again, a simple question... "Can you give me one good reason why he had not made that extra effort to come back...." NO answer.

So why must you ask, "Can he come back?" NO answer.

A follow-up question... "Am I the one stopping him from coming back?" NO answer.

YOU be the judge. TQ.

ps. Sincerely hope this "aftershock" is truly the very last one. But me am not keeping my hopes high, though. Each & every time me hoped, my hopes had been dashed to smithereens...sad but true.