Bad times are here again! Sun 180109 was a great day...as noted in my earlier post. However, the night did not end well...the inmates of Lot 10 had another one of its emotional "incidents" that somehow dragged on till today...like a "damocle's sword" that has been hanging over our heads since March 2008...
A really dark cloud hung over Lot 10 the whole of yesterday (190109)...
And due to the past 2 late sleepless nights, I could only get up late in the morning this morning...lots later than 9am! Yup, it's that bad...
And of all times, me received a call for help! In the "blur-blur" state I was in, I regretfully could not respond positively as me was not my normal self! Now that I am feeling better, I feel the remorse of turning down that call for help...although my reply was genuinely true! Sometimes it is not the time to tell the truth...esp when one's help is needed. In my "blurry" state, I was really not thinking. Anyway it's kinda too late to do anything about it..."crying over spilt milk" frankly does not help anyone! Agreed? I now sincerely hope that whatever it was finally turned out ok...
To add to the above, we (actually my other half) found out that her cousin who had metastasis of her breast cancer (detected & treated years ago) was hospitalised last night! She was one of those VIPs at the Bday dinner of the cousin on last Sunday evening. We sincerely hope & pray that somehow she will pull through this time around & be with us for as long as possible. Life is so precious & every day counts...Be strong & may God bless you, KS!
Thur 220109 is the Bday of our fav grandaughter, KL...just 2 days away from CNY eve & 3 days from CNY itself! Normally, I am one who shys away from travelling at such "traffic-busy" periods. Traffic jams & all kinds of impatient & inconsiderate drivers are so prevalent out on roads prior to such major festival days. On the one hand, we have yet to miss any of KL's bdays. On the other hand, the mind tells one that there is always a first time for everything.
Now comes the question that I had posted as the topic of this entry...
"Should I follow my heart or what the mind dictates?"Yup, for a start, under normal circumstances, I would, without hesitation, follow my heart...I will make a special trip to visit KS in hospital. Her condition being what it is. No doubt about that. No second thoughts. But now...at this time of the year...the mind keeps telling me, is it wise or necessary? Or as put by Unc L whom I called to enquire about KS's condition, "there's nothing one can do at this stage...we are already giving her all the moral support..." The good part is that we had just spent some hours of value time with her last Sunday.
So do I need to make that trip? Should I follow the heart or the mind?
And secondly, KL's bday...should we make the trip to celebrate her 3rd bday (as in previous years)? We had been there for her at her birth, 1st & 2nd birthdays. Should we be there on her 3rd bday? In spite of reasons given above, namely possibly bad traffic conditions & proximity of CNY (KL & fmly are supposed to be coming to Lot 10 for the Re-union Dinner on CNY eve ie just 2 days later!)?
So here again, do I need to make this trip? Should I follow the heart or the mind?
If you were me, what would you do? Under the above conditions & in my shoes, do you follow your heart or your mind?
Before you answer, one must also bear in mind that me am not that young now and my ole junk is not that young either...actually >16 years old now! Moreover, I've not been able to maintain my ole junk in pristine condition as I used to...due to very much lower financial resources. Every long distance trip these days has been kinda risky & full of undisplayed worries...although during each trip made, me tried not to think too much about it. Or else me would never go anywhere outside A/S! As is, we cannot afford to get a new replacement vehicle...even maintaining the present ole junk can be pretty draining on resources in times of need!
That is my "migraine" now! And me not have much time to decide...cos both trips have to be made by tomorrow morning...
Wonder if me can sleep tonight...so sorry to have to unload my problems here...
Thanks a meg for reading thus far...
UPDATE : Decision was finally made @12:50am on 210109...a really very difficult decision...and only after considering all aspects & factors. Not a decision we would have made years back. Yup, we decided to let the mind be in control. As such, the decision becomes a rational & logical one made...not emotion-based. Sincerely hope all parties involved would understand & accept it with an open heart...TQ.
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